Scrappy… that’s what I felt like yesterday. My definition of scrappy is a feeling like I’m all pieced together, not whole. When I feel this way, I generally have a bunch of emotions going on in me and they’re not all the same. Maybe a bit of it, if not all, is anxiety if I am really honest with myself. Some days I feel that way – scrappy!
Not long ago I took a drive from Los Angeles to Fresno, California. The trip is a bit over a 3.5 hour drive. The first hour or two is fairly scenic because you are traveling through small cities that are considered suburbs of Los Angeles. But after about 1.5 to 2 hours, there is a long stretch of land that is simply farm fields. It seems like there is miles and miles of it. There is nothing to look at other than rows and rows of fruit trees or vegetables being grown for future harvest, sale, and consumption. So, the first part of the ride went pretty quickly. Before I knew it, I looked up and saw all the landmarks I remember as a child when we were on our way to Magic Mountain (now Six Flags). I knew just how long it would be before I got to the amusement park based on key landmarks that I would see along the way. There was a sense of excitement and anticipation because I knew where I was and how far I had to go. However, once I got to and through the mountains (which on that day were covered with fog making it a challenge enjoy the scenery) there were no more landmarks, nothing much to look at, and just road! I felt like the kids in the movie “Are We There Yet”?
I guess during this uneventful and less scenic part of the trip there was a bit of anxiety on my part. It was a little uncomfortable not having much to look or experience. I felt a bit impatient because the road went on and on – forever it seemed - and I didn’t know just when it would end. So, I pulled out a CD with music on it that I needed to learn for an upcoming concert in which I was singing. I played the CD over and over again… making sure I heard every note and every lyric so that I would be fully prepared to sing. I listened to the lyrics that ministered to me as well… so I really understood what I would be singing about. It was wonderful! I used the time productively to master my music and the time went by much quicker. Anxiety departed.
There are days – as was the case yesterday – when I feel scrappy and anxious. Mostly, I experience the scrappiness or anxiety when I’m pursuing some goal (which gives me a feeling of excitement and anticipation), but nothing is happening to give me any indication that I’m close to reaching my goal (which gives me a feeling of impatience and doubt sometimes). Yesterday, I had conference call with a grad school colleague who is well respected and influential in his field. I shared and explored an idea with him on behalf of a client of mine about a partnership structure that, in my opinion, is a great way to help generate jobs and income for a targeted group of people. I’ve been really passionate and interested in helping this particular client address one of their major challenges, but a long time can occur between identifying a solution and seeing the solution implemented and working. I was hoping that my colleague would see the value and the need as much as I did. I’m not sure he did. But, I do understand why he wouldn’t. Nonetheless, I gave it all I had. Now, for me, it’s back to waiting. And, that’s the part that leaves me feeling anxious and scrappy.
What does this have to do with my journey to my destiny? Well the real life road trip I took showed me that that anxious time can actually be very productive time, it’s all in the choice. One doesn’t stop driving – heck, you can’t stop driving – you’re in the middle of the trip! There is no reason to turn back! The trip began because there was a destination in mind! So, the best thing to do is to make the choice to manage the uncomfortable wait time by making it productive. So, in the midst of feeling scrappy and anxious about my pursuit of one goal, I picked up the phone to make another call and another call in pursuit of another goal. This is what makes the wait time go by much more quickly and with fewer feelings of anxiety about the wait. Talk about enjoying the entire ride… helps me to make it all much more pleasant. I can’t avoid all negative feelings, but to the extent that I can minimize them, that’s great for me and those around me.
Are you feeling like nothing is happening as you pursue your goal? What are you anxious, impatient, or feeling scrappy about? We all get these negative feelings from time to time. But, next time, instead of feeling anxious about the wait time for one goal, pick up another one and master it – plant a garden, learn a new skill, paint a room! That way, while you’re moving towards but experiencing uncomfortable wait time as you pursue one goal, you'll fair better by accomplishing two! Do all you can to enjoy the entire ride!!
No comments:
Post a Comment