Call A Friend... And, Let's Take This Thing For a Spin!!!

Last week I had a girlfriend to visit with me. She stayed with me an entire week and it was great! Because I live alone, it was great to have someone to joke with, to talk to, to run the streets with, to play tennis with, to simply have companionship. I’m not sure how much fun SHE had because she lives in a house with several people and for her this was a mini vacation where she sought solitude. But, for ME, who lives alone, I was most appreciative to have another person with whom to share the little moments with – finding a new favorite restaurant, doing a community service project, playing tennis in the middle of the day, learning a new skill, stretching the dollar so that you stay within the budget, and a host of other things. I usually do all of these things myself, so it isn’t that I don’t have things going on in my life. But, having a friend to share these things with – however simple and small, was very enjoyable! I can say that I had a really good week.

I now understand why God does not intend for us to be alone. God wants us to have abundant life and that means abundant joy! Living alone and being alone "for me" does not bring me as much joy as does sharing with another person.

So… what does this have to do with getting to my destiny?

Well… it is no secret (and I say repeatedly in my blogs) that the most important part of getting to the intended destination is enjoying the journey along the way. I think it is important to know yourself and to know what brings you joy and what makes you happy. When you know what brings you joy and you can pursue it or at least recognize it to open yourself to more of it in your life. Friendship is a beautiful gift. It is something that I will continue to pursue and/or allow in my life while I'm on the journey. Healthy friendships keep me smiling and laughing…all of which is good for the soul and contributes to my happiness and my peace. It is another good gift from God!

So… shout out to all my friends and yours!! Let's take this thing for a spin as often as we can so we're sure to enjoy this ride!!

Don't Miss The Forest (Your Life) For the Trees (The Details of Your Life)!!

Forests are beautiful, God given natural wonders. They represent life and offer adventure, mystery, peacefulness, and harmony to those who enter. Sometimes, however, as the perverbial saying goes, we cannot see the beauty of the forest because of our focus on and proximity to the trees. Consider this... what if the forest represents our complete life and total being and the trees represent the experiences, issues and cares of our life. It is sometimes difficult for us to appreciate the beauty of our lives and what we have to offer because we focus so much on the day-to-day concerns we all have. You've heard this before now I'm sure. I'm writing about this today because I had a unique paradigm shift this weekend about this saying and I'd like to share.

This past weekend I gained an expanded perspective on death. My thinking was triggered by the many high profile deaths which have occurred recently -- MJ, Farrah Fawcett, Steve McNair, Ed McMahon. Something hit me this weekend and my perspective was expanded through a series of revelations. I won’t say changed or new, because I already knew this on some level, but it now has more meaning. My realization was this… our birth and our death is really not about you and me as individuals. It is completely for and/or about the people in our lives.

You see, the moment we are born (and probably even starts at conception), we exist to be a blessing to others. Before we are born we have no feelings or emotions nor any wants or desires and we consume nothing. As soon as we are gone/we die, we cease to exist as such. We no longer have feelings or emotions nor wants or desires and we consume nothing. Our memory exists - and there is value in the memory - but we don't exist as a living blessing to others. So what matters is the time between and what impact we have on others while we are living.

That realization is causing me to look at every single individual in my life for the intrinsic value and blessing they have been and are to me – each person has the potential to play a role helping to create my healthy and happy life. As such, I intend to be much more appreciative of the role each person plays. Likewise, the realization is causing me to be much more intentional and conscientious about being a blessing to those who God has placed in my life. After all, when it boils down to it, being a blessing is essentially why we are here. According to the bible, the greatest commandments are first that we love God with everything we have and are; and, second, that we love our neighbors as ourselves.
So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? Alot! Stay with me, it'll all make sense by the end. (smile)

There are a bunch of things that I enjoy doing and care about. I care about and enjoy encouraging others to be their best. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy playing tennis. I enjoy singing. I enjoy dancing. I enjoy watching movies and experiencing the theater. I enjoy writing. I care about each person living out their God given potential. The list goes on and on. It is very easy for me to do the things I enjoy doing. And, for the most part, I do them well. My expanded perspective on death, however, has made me realize that life is very simple. Do the things you enjoy doing and that God has gifted you to do. And, do them in a way that blesses those that God places in your life. Simple, right? You don’t have to go looking for opportunities to be a blessing and to serve others. The opportunities exist in front of us as he has places many people in our path on a daily basis. And, if we don’t ignore the opportunities it's easy to live our purpose.

I have been on this extensive search to "discover my purpose", to "hear my calling", to "find that which I am supposed to do" so I can go out and get ready to “do” it. There is nothing wrong with that except that I probably have been expecting some “grandiose” experience or assignment. And, I wonder how many people are like me. What I am discovering is that I just need to simply be me…. And that’s the most simple thing I can do. I don’t have to “wait” to find it. I simple do and be who I am. I can naturally “do” that right now and in this moment without much pontification. And, as I am discovering with Facebook, I already know a couple of hundred people who I’m sure would be grateful to be blessed by my love of cooking, my love of music, or whatever I have to give that will bring a smile to their face or make a difference in their life. This is especially true for people in my church and community who may be in need of something that I can give or do TODAY that will make their lives better.

I’ve spent a lot of time and effort trying "understand or hear" my call and "looking for" my purpose. Really it’s not so difficult to find at all. We all are created and wired to love to do certain things. When we do those things, we are simply expressing what’s naturally inside of us and that takes minimal effort because it’s there inside all the time. There is no need to put a whole lot of effort into figuring out how or what to do with what I already love and am gifted to do. Don't get me wrong, some effort is involved, but that effort involves naturally living, being exposed to, exploring and experiencing different things to learn what one likes or dislikes; but, it doesn't have to involve a whole lot of suffering and straining to "figure" it out. And, there is always someone God has placed in your life who has a need. So, consider again the saying “… you can’t see the forest for the trees”. This is where my paradigm shift occured regarding this saying I mentioned in the first paragraph of this blog. When we are so busy looking for and planning the details of what makes a great life, we can find ourselves missing out on living! And living is about sharing ourselves with and blessing others. When we're not living, we fail to promote the health, prosperity and happiness of others - and in my opinion this is our responsibility as human beings.

So, I have made the decision to simply do the things I love and let my life continue to unfold in a way that blesses others. I made the decision to simply be (as the forest simply IS) and let go of focusing on every single care and concern to try to get living right. It’s great! It freeing and I’m thankful for the revelation. Already, it’s helping me to enjoy the ride!

STOP to Smell The Roses!

I have learned that we have to stop to smell the roses in our lives. Many of us go through life in all of its busyness and don't stop to appreciate the roses - the beautiful things - God has placed in our lives. When we do stop to appreciate the beauty, it truly enhances our entire life!

Yesterday I watched the memorial service for Michael Jackson along with the rest of the world. For a couple of hours (and probably longer if I count the time I spent thinking and talking about his life, listening to his music, reviewing his videos, and just reliving my experiences of him) I paused to take inventory of all he did in his 50 years and all that he gave through his music and his giving spirit. He was an amazingly talented man who simply gave all he had to give to his craft. He was a remarkable entertainer who could consistently move me beyond words and he did so for many people. I don't know another person who has had such an impact on others.

In my paused moment, I realized that he has been a fixed part of my life. He simply was. When I was young I would listen to MJ’s music and simply be in awe and delight and would express it so. However, as I got older I didn’t stop to listen or appreciate his music. It was simply a part of my life. I would hear the music and dance but I had come to take it for granted - I wasn't listening to the words nor feeling the art. I was simply used to the music and him being a part of the day’s culture. But, his death, and all the events surrounding his death, really caused me to look more deeply at what he did to add to the beauty in my life. I had to acknowledge his brilliance, genius, and anointing as it related to his music and its message, his delivery and its soul. That gift can only come from God, and as Maya Angelou stated: We Had Him. God gives gifts to one so that others can be blessed, that those blessed will look up to the one who gave the gift.

I truly believe that the entire world yesterday looked up to God to acknowledge and thank Him for giving us such a beautiful gift. MJ’s music was absolutely beautiful and put smiles on millions of faces and touched millions of souls. And, I don’t mean to sound greedy. But, I pray that God doesn’t stop blessing us… I shutter at the thought of Michael no longer living among us to create such beautiful music. I hope that God continues to bless us by giving us another like Michael whom he anointed so and who was so willing to give of himself inspite of the pains of doing so. Maybe next time we’ll appreciate the blessing sooner. (And, I'm not talking about the media, I'm talking about all of us who may have taken his music and his gift for granted. While his music will always be among us, the vessel through which new and fresh creations were manifested is no longer)

So, what does the beauty of MJs music have to do with me getting to my destiny?

Well, there are many lessons in his life and music that relate to me getting to my destiny, but I’ll focus on one for this blog entry. I need to stop and really notice and appreciate all the beauty that God has given me along my journey. We all know – or at least we say we know – that it’s not about where you end up, it’s about enjoying the journey. That is partly why I started blogging so that I could begin to pay closer attention to the journey and be less anxious about the destination. The journey is where life is. So, not only is there importance in the lessons and the relational experiences along the way, there are simply physical pleasures that God has given us to help make the journey enjoyable as well. But, if we never stop to notice first and appreciate second that which He has so specially made for us to enjoy, we miss seeing and experiencing God for ourselves. And, that is so important.

Sunsets and beaches are for our enjoyment, just as music and poetry and many other beautiful and artistic creations are as well. I must consciously take a moment to stop what I am doing to FOCUS on them rather than having them always being a backdrop or soundtrack for my life. When I FOCUS on them I actually can realize their enormous value and give the appropriate appreciation to the giver (the vessel) and the gifter (God). If I do not, I will look up and the blessing will be gone before I realize how much of a blessing it really was.

I don’t know about you, but since there is so much value and richness in the beauty of what God has gifted, I want to realize and enjoy it fully. The journey is tough enough, let me do all that I can to enjoy the ride... He designed it so that I would!!

When Shooting For the Moon, We Sometimes Land Among The Stars!! And, That's OK!!

My facebook status update reads: “To play the game of your life and not get the prize does not make you a loser... Roddick, today, is truly a winner!! He got to a whole new level of play!! Congrats!!”.

Yesterday afternoon I watched a good part of the fifth set of the Wimbledon tennis match between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick. Roger was fighting to break the world record for the greatest number of grand slams won by a single player and Andy Roddick was fighting to win Wimbledon for the first time against the world’s greatest tennis player.

I hadn’t watched the entire Wimbledon series this year. But, admittedly, when I heard that Roddick had made it to the finals and would be playing against Federer, my initial reaction was that Federer would blow through the match easily. While I haven’t consistently followed Roddick’s tennis career, I have seen him play enough times to know that the consistency of play and winning just hasn’t been there. But, then, I recalled a renewed commitment Roddick made to his game a couple of years ago. He made some necessary changes to his coaching staff and recommited himself to winning and becoming a better player. I thought to myself… “let me not count Andy out so quickly”, and I’m glad I did not.

Yesterday Andy played BEYOND exceptionally well. The Andy I saw yesterday was not the Andy I remember from prior years. I was truly inspired by him and he (and the game of tennis I love so much) taught me another lesson (or at least served as an impactful reminder) that when you truly give your all you can never lose! It’s like that good ‘ol saying, “shoot for the moon… because even if you miss, you will surely land among the stars!!” Andy truly landed among the stars and will forever be remembered for his effort on yesterday as much as (if not more than) Federer will be remembered for breaking a record that day.

So what does this have to do with getting to MY destiny?

This is an easy and obvious one! It was a reminder that I must give my goals and the pursuit of my intended destination ALL that I have!! I cannot hold back – holding back is not an option! Holding on IS the only option!!! Whether it is in love or in a career… I’ve got to give my WHOLE ALL! I may have to change some things. In fact, I want to change those things that are not making me a better and more effective person. I am renewing my commitment to getting to my destination right now. And, I continue to pray that God places in my life the right people and experiences to help me be that better person I need to be to make it to HIS appointed destination.

I would bet that Andy believed that yesterday would be the win of his life. And, while he didn’t get the prize for which he aspired, it really was probably the biggest win of his life to date!! He gained so much more as a player and as a person for having lost under those circumstances and having truly played the best game of his career to date. He clearly has the ability to rise to heights he may have never thought (there were 32 games played in 5th set – max in sets 1-4 is 13). His heart and determination meant so much when matched against someone who has remarkable natural talent and ability. Regardless of whether you were rooting for, Federer or Roddick, those who watched the match were truly touched and inspired by Andy Roddick.

If (or when) Roddick wins the Wimbledon title, I hope he will look back on the journey, embrace and appreciate every step along the way - even this one. He has absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. He taught us all a lesson in giving, determination, commitment, graciousness and strength. I will take that lesson and apply it to my life. And, while some of my journey - like his - may be tough and painful, in the end it’ll be worth it. For maybe I too can be an inspiration to at least one someone. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to enjoy the ride!