Plz Cut Mine Into Bite Sized Chunks!

Well, it’s been a good while since I posted an entry. I miss writing these blogs. The reason for the hiatus is that I’ve been in the midst of a life transition. I’ve gone back to school. It’s been 17 years since my last experience with graduate studies, and I’m back in the saddle again. I have a few weeks left in this first semester. Before I begin my studies this morning, I thought I’d write. I’m not sure what I will write, but I miss writing these. So, I will just see where my thoughts and my keystrokes take me.

I suppose I can start with where I was 4 or 5 months ago before making this life change that I can honestly say I wasn’t 100% certain about when I made it. Part of my uncertainty came about because of my own personal need to constantly be productive. The summer before school started I was very uncomfortable because I wasn't being productive - productive meaning doing something that produced income. I thought I was going to pull my hair out with anxiety because I wanted so much to be productive or at least working towards some meaningful goal. But, knowing that in a matter of weeks I would be starting something new - school - that would consume all of my time, it didn't seem realistic for me to begin a new project in addition to my job search efforts. Nonetheless, I started taking piano lessons.

I actually already knew how to play. Since I haven’t practiced regularly in years, however, my playing reflects my lack of practice. Taking the lessons actually forced me to establish a regular practice schedule which proved to be very effective. Unfortunately, there was no specific performance goal, so as I imagined, as soon as school started, my attention to the piano suffered.

So, today… where is my piano in my list of priorities? It is actually very low. Did I benefit from taking the lessons? Absolutely! I (re)learned some basic concepts that either I never knew or had simply forgotten about. But, even if only in a small way, it helped my playing. Was that productive time? Not how I would have originally measured it as I didn’t transform my playing into that of a virtuoso (symbolic of lofty yet unrealistic goals I set for myself in many areas of my life) so that I can play anything or even that I played well enough to find a small church for which to play. On the other hand, I did take a small step in moving towards my rather lofty goal – smile. If I’m ever able to make piano and playing a priority, I will be one step closer to my goal compared to where I would have been if I had not spent the time over the summer.

So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? Well, that experience showed me that a goal is really best served when you break it up in small, bite sized pieces. A side note: a girlfriend recently posted a Facebook status that she was instructing her kids to clean out the refrigerator in 15min intervals. They had to work for 15mins and then rest for an hour. I jokingly commented that it should be the other way around… work an hour and rest 15mins… that she was too lenient with her kids. She responded that attaching a goal in bite sized chunks is a lot more manageable that trying to get them to tackle it all at once. While I probably still disagree with the time allocation, I do agree with her principle. And, looking back at my summer piano lessons, I may have only moved an inch this summer, but I moved.

For me - the goal oriented person who has difficulty being unproductive - that is powerful and rewarding and encouraging and valuable. Playing may never be something that I am an expert at - which is often my goal. So, as I continue to move forward with my playing, accepting improvement in small sized chunks is progress. If playing were more of a priority in my life, then I would probably make different choices about how much time to devote to it even now. Nonetheless, as I move towards my destiny, which is continues to take shape in my mind, I keep all of this in mind. Each thing I spend time doing, however little or much, helps get me closer to my destiny.

My strategy these days is to take life one day and really one moment at a time. I try to make sure I spend time doing something each day that’s getting me closer to my goals and to my destiny. Why don't you join me! Spend time doing something each day that gets you closer to your goal. It may seem like it will take you forever, but you'll look back and see just how much road you've traveled and realize you've been enjoying the ride!

Call A Friend... And, Let's Take This Thing For a Spin!!!

Last week I had a girlfriend to visit with me. She stayed with me an entire week and it was great! Because I live alone, it was great to have someone to joke with, to talk to, to run the streets with, to play tennis with, to simply have companionship. I’m not sure how much fun SHE had because she lives in a house with several people and for her this was a mini vacation where she sought solitude. But, for ME, who lives alone, I was most appreciative to have another person with whom to share the little moments with – finding a new favorite restaurant, doing a community service project, playing tennis in the middle of the day, learning a new skill, stretching the dollar so that you stay within the budget, and a host of other things. I usually do all of these things myself, so it isn’t that I don’t have things going on in my life. But, having a friend to share these things with – however simple and small, was very enjoyable! I can say that I had a really good week.

I now understand why God does not intend for us to be alone. God wants us to have abundant life and that means abundant joy! Living alone and being alone "for me" does not bring me as much joy as does sharing with another person.

So… what does this have to do with getting to my destiny?

Well… it is no secret (and I say repeatedly in my blogs) that the most important part of getting to the intended destination is enjoying the journey along the way. I think it is important to know yourself and to know what brings you joy and what makes you happy. When you know what brings you joy and you can pursue it or at least recognize it to open yourself to more of it in your life. Friendship is a beautiful gift. It is something that I will continue to pursue and/or allow in my life while I'm on the journey. Healthy friendships keep me smiling and laughing…all of which is good for the soul and contributes to my happiness and my peace. It is another good gift from God!

So… shout out to all my friends and yours!! Let's take this thing for a spin as often as we can so we're sure to enjoy this ride!!

Don't Miss The Forest (Your Life) For the Trees (The Details of Your Life)!!

Forests are beautiful, God given natural wonders. They represent life and offer adventure, mystery, peacefulness, and harmony to those who enter. Sometimes, however, as the perverbial saying goes, we cannot see the beauty of the forest because of our focus on and proximity to the trees. Consider this... what if the forest represents our complete life and total being and the trees represent the experiences, issues and cares of our life. It is sometimes difficult for us to appreciate the beauty of our lives and what we have to offer because we focus so much on the day-to-day concerns we all have. You've heard this before now I'm sure. I'm writing about this today because I had a unique paradigm shift this weekend about this saying and I'd like to share.

This past weekend I gained an expanded perspective on death. My thinking was triggered by the many high profile deaths which have occurred recently -- MJ, Farrah Fawcett, Steve McNair, Ed McMahon. Something hit me this weekend and my perspective was expanded through a series of revelations. I won’t say changed or new, because I already knew this on some level, but it now has more meaning. My realization was this… our birth and our death is really not about you and me as individuals. It is completely for and/or about the people in our lives.

You see, the moment we are born (and probably even starts at conception), we exist to be a blessing to others. Before we are born we have no feelings or emotions nor any wants or desires and we consume nothing. As soon as we are gone/we die, we cease to exist as such. We no longer have feelings or emotions nor wants or desires and we consume nothing. Our memory exists - and there is value in the memory - but we don't exist as a living blessing to others. So what matters is the time between and what impact we have on others while we are living.

That realization is causing me to look at every single individual in my life for the intrinsic value and blessing they have been and are to me – each person has the potential to play a role helping to create my healthy and happy life. As such, I intend to be much more appreciative of the role each person plays. Likewise, the realization is causing me to be much more intentional and conscientious about being a blessing to those who God has placed in my life. After all, when it boils down to it, being a blessing is essentially why we are here. According to the bible, the greatest commandments are first that we love God with everything we have and are; and, second, that we love our neighbors as ourselves.
So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? Alot! Stay with me, it'll all make sense by the end. (smile)

There are a bunch of things that I enjoy doing and care about. I care about and enjoy encouraging others to be their best. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy playing tennis. I enjoy singing. I enjoy dancing. I enjoy watching movies and experiencing the theater. I enjoy writing. I care about each person living out their God given potential. The list goes on and on. It is very easy for me to do the things I enjoy doing. And, for the most part, I do them well. My expanded perspective on death, however, has made me realize that life is very simple. Do the things you enjoy doing and that God has gifted you to do. And, do them in a way that blesses those that God places in your life. Simple, right? You don’t have to go looking for opportunities to be a blessing and to serve others. The opportunities exist in front of us as he has places many people in our path on a daily basis. And, if we don’t ignore the opportunities it's easy to live our purpose.

I have been on this extensive search to "discover my purpose", to "hear my calling", to "find that which I am supposed to do" so I can go out and get ready to “do” it. There is nothing wrong with that except that I probably have been expecting some “grandiose” experience or assignment. And, I wonder how many people are like me. What I am discovering is that I just need to simply be me…. And that’s the most simple thing I can do. I don’t have to “wait” to find it. I simple do and be who I am. I can naturally “do” that right now and in this moment without much pontification. And, as I am discovering with Facebook, I already know a couple of hundred people who I’m sure would be grateful to be blessed by my love of cooking, my love of music, or whatever I have to give that will bring a smile to their face or make a difference in their life. This is especially true for people in my church and community who may be in need of something that I can give or do TODAY that will make their lives better.

I’ve spent a lot of time and effort trying "understand or hear" my call and "looking for" my purpose. Really it’s not so difficult to find at all. We all are created and wired to love to do certain things. When we do those things, we are simply expressing what’s naturally inside of us and that takes minimal effort because it’s there inside all the time. There is no need to put a whole lot of effort into figuring out how or what to do with what I already love and am gifted to do. Don't get me wrong, some effort is involved, but that effort involves naturally living, being exposed to, exploring and experiencing different things to learn what one likes or dislikes; but, it doesn't have to involve a whole lot of suffering and straining to "figure" it out. And, there is always someone God has placed in your life who has a need. So, consider again the saying “… you can’t see the forest for the trees”. This is where my paradigm shift occured regarding this saying I mentioned in the first paragraph of this blog. When we are so busy looking for and planning the details of what makes a great life, we can find ourselves missing out on living! And living is about sharing ourselves with and blessing others. When we're not living, we fail to promote the health, prosperity and happiness of others - and in my opinion this is our responsibility as human beings.

So, I have made the decision to simply do the things I love and let my life continue to unfold in a way that blesses others. I made the decision to simply be (as the forest simply IS) and let go of focusing on every single care and concern to try to get living right. It’s great! It freeing and I’m thankful for the revelation. Already, it’s helping me to enjoy the ride!

STOP to Smell The Roses!

I have learned that we have to stop to smell the roses in our lives. Many of us go through life in all of its busyness and don't stop to appreciate the roses - the beautiful things - God has placed in our lives. When we do stop to appreciate the beauty, it truly enhances our entire life!

Yesterday I watched the memorial service for Michael Jackson along with the rest of the world. For a couple of hours (and probably longer if I count the time I spent thinking and talking about his life, listening to his music, reviewing his videos, and just reliving my experiences of him) I paused to take inventory of all he did in his 50 years and all that he gave through his music and his giving spirit. He was an amazingly talented man who simply gave all he had to give to his craft. He was a remarkable entertainer who could consistently move me beyond words and he did so for many people. I don't know another person who has had such an impact on others.

In my paused moment, I realized that he has been a fixed part of my life. He simply was. When I was young I would listen to MJ’s music and simply be in awe and delight and would express it so. However, as I got older I didn’t stop to listen or appreciate his music. It was simply a part of my life. I would hear the music and dance but I had come to take it for granted - I wasn't listening to the words nor feeling the art. I was simply used to the music and him being a part of the day’s culture. But, his death, and all the events surrounding his death, really caused me to look more deeply at what he did to add to the beauty in my life. I had to acknowledge his brilliance, genius, and anointing as it related to his music and its message, his delivery and its soul. That gift can only come from God, and as Maya Angelou stated: We Had Him. God gives gifts to one so that others can be blessed, that those blessed will look up to the one who gave the gift.

I truly believe that the entire world yesterday looked up to God to acknowledge and thank Him for giving us such a beautiful gift. MJ’s music was absolutely beautiful and put smiles on millions of faces and touched millions of souls. And, I don’t mean to sound greedy. But, I pray that God doesn’t stop blessing us… I shutter at the thought of Michael no longer living among us to create such beautiful music. I hope that God continues to bless us by giving us another like Michael whom he anointed so and who was so willing to give of himself inspite of the pains of doing so. Maybe next time we’ll appreciate the blessing sooner. (And, I'm not talking about the media, I'm talking about all of us who may have taken his music and his gift for granted. While his music will always be among us, the vessel through which new and fresh creations were manifested is no longer)

So, what does the beauty of MJs music have to do with me getting to my destiny?

Well, there are many lessons in his life and music that relate to me getting to my destiny, but I’ll focus on one for this blog entry. I need to stop and really notice and appreciate all the beauty that God has given me along my journey. We all know – or at least we say we know – that it’s not about where you end up, it’s about enjoying the journey. That is partly why I started blogging so that I could begin to pay closer attention to the journey and be less anxious about the destination. The journey is where life is. So, not only is there importance in the lessons and the relational experiences along the way, there are simply physical pleasures that God has given us to help make the journey enjoyable as well. But, if we never stop to notice first and appreciate second that which He has so specially made for us to enjoy, we miss seeing and experiencing God for ourselves. And, that is so important.

Sunsets and beaches are for our enjoyment, just as music and poetry and many other beautiful and artistic creations are as well. I must consciously take a moment to stop what I am doing to FOCUS on them rather than having them always being a backdrop or soundtrack for my life. When I FOCUS on them I actually can realize their enormous value and give the appropriate appreciation to the giver (the vessel) and the gifter (God). If I do not, I will look up and the blessing will be gone before I realize how much of a blessing it really was.

I don’t know about you, but since there is so much value and richness in the beauty of what God has gifted, I want to realize and enjoy it fully. The journey is tough enough, let me do all that I can to enjoy the ride... He designed it so that I would!!

When Shooting For the Moon, We Sometimes Land Among The Stars!! And, That's OK!!

My facebook status update reads: “To play the game of your life and not get the prize does not make you a loser... Roddick, today, is truly a winner!! He got to a whole new level of play!! Congrats!!”.

Yesterday afternoon I watched a good part of the fifth set of the Wimbledon tennis match between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick. Roger was fighting to break the world record for the greatest number of grand slams won by a single player and Andy Roddick was fighting to win Wimbledon for the first time against the world’s greatest tennis player.

I hadn’t watched the entire Wimbledon series this year. But, admittedly, when I heard that Roddick had made it to the finals and would be playing against Federer, my initial reaction was that Federer would blow through the match easily. While I haven’t consistently followed Roddick’s tennis career, I have seen him play enough times to know that the consistency of play and winning just hasn’t been there. But, then, I recalled a renewed commitment Roddick made to his game a couple of years ago. He made some necessary changes to his coaching staff and recommited himself to winning and becoming a better player. I thought to myself… “let me not count Andy out so quickly”, and I’m glad I did not.

Yesterday Andy played BEYOND exceptionally well. The Andy I saw yesterday was not the Andy I remember from prior years. I was truly inspired by him and he (and the game of tennis I love so much) taught me another lesson (or at least served as an impactful reminder) that when you truly give your all you can never lose! It’s like that good ‘ol saying, “shoot for the moon… because even if you miss, you will surely land among the stars!!” Andy truly landed among the stars and will forever be remembered for his effort on yesterday as much as (if not more than) Federer will be remembered for breaking a record that day.

So what does this have to do with getting to MY destiny?

This is an easy and obvious one! It was a reminder that I must give my goals and the pursuit of my intended destination ALL that I have!! I cannot hold back – holding back is not an option! Holding on IS the only option!!! Whether it is in love or in a career… I’ve got to give my WHOLE ALL! I may have to change some things. In fact, I want to change those things that are not making me a better and more effective person. I am renewing my commitment to getting to my destination right now. And, I continue to pray that God places in my life the right people and experiences to help me be that better person I need to be to make it to HIS appointed destination.

I would bet that Andy believed that yesterday would be the win of his life. And, while he didn’t get the prize for which he aspired, it really was probably the biggest win of his life to date!! He gained so much more as a player and as a person for having lost under those circumstances and having truly played the best game of his career to date. He clearly has the ability to rise to heights he may have never thought (there were 32 games played in 5th set – max in sets 1-4 is 13). His heart and determination meant so much when matched against someone who has remarkable natural talent and ability. Regardless of whether you were rooting for, Federer or Roddick, those who watched the match were truly touched and inspired by Andy Roddick.

If (or when) Roddick wins the Wimbledon title, I hope he will look back on the journey, embrace and appreciate every step along the way - even this one. He has absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. He taught us all a lesson in giving, determination, commitment, graciousness and strength. I will take that lesson and apply it to my life. And, while some of my journey - like his - may be tough and painful, in the end it’ll be worth it. For maybe I too can be an inspiration to at least one someone. In the meantime, I’ll do my best to enjoy the ride!

I Don't Wanna Grow Up!!

I have no children. Over 3,000 miles away from me, I have one sister and a brother-in-law who have a lovely baby daughter, Courtney. I am crazy about Courtney as most parents, aunties/uncles, and grandparents are about their offspring. Just last week I had the awesome opportunity to spend some quality time with my new niece. That was one of the most enjoyable times I have had in a long time.

Courtney is a very, very happy baby! She smiles at everyone and hardly cries at all except to say "Feed me!" or "Change me!". Courtney, at 7months old, puts everything in her mouth as most babies her age do. And, while we were together she began to try her hand at crawling. It was cute because at times I could tell there would be things in a room she wanted to explore and she was determined to figure out how to propel her body forward to get to those points of exploration. It was enjoyable and fascinating for me to watch her be a baby. She just wanted to explore everything – she was oblivious to the possibility that she could fall off of a table as she moved toward the object of her attention. She wanted to taste everything regardless of the fact that it was full of germs and/or dirt or that it might cause harm to her. She wanted to love and hug everyone, even with complete strangers she would smile and giggle. She is a very happy baby!!

Ok, so what does this have to do with getting to my destiny?

Well, for the most of my life, I have lived on my own – taking care of myself (with God’s protection and provisions of course) and making my own decisions without much elderly counsel. This is not really a good or bad thing per se, it’s simply my experience. And, in my life I have made a whole lot of mistakes and misjudgments, had missed opportunities, and simply have made some bad choices. Those misfortunes (and I don’t say these thinks to evoke feelings of pity or sympathy) have yielded results that at times have been very painful for me. And, my reaction and response to these results has been to become more and more guarded, more and more cautious, and more and more skeptical of people and their intentions as well as my own ability to handle situations well. My negative responses, while an attempt to protect myself, is NOT ALL GOOD!

Fortunately, one morning after spending time with Courtney I was given a revelation about living. A light bulb moment helped me to see that I need to be much more childlike in my approach to life. Secure in their parents protection, babies and young children explore and experience the world with little hesitation or fear. These little people charge ahead without regard for what might hurt them while we as adults take the negative experiences we’ve had and use them as reasons to construct walls around us in the name of safety and security to avoid future hurt, harm, and danger. The problem with this is – and this is probably not news to anyone reading this – the walls we construct keep out the positive and good experiences as well as the negative ones. And, how can anyone be happy with no real, positive and fulfilling experiences. NO ONE CAN!

My revelation was this... In order to continue towards happiness and fulfillment, I need to tear down the walls – even the ones I thought I’d already torn down – and approach life like a child who has just been given free reign in a toy store. I need to give myself completely to that which I pursue, not looking behind or around me. I need to approach life with innocence, a sense of wonder and excitement, going after all things of interest to me without regard for the things that can go wrong or that will hurt! The wisdom of experience and age teaches me that at some point I will hurt and there will be pain… this is a given and won’t change and this is good information to know. But, I shouldn’t worry about that. I need to simply seek out with enthusiasm that which will bring freshness and newness! I need to embrace experiences that are sure to generate happy thoughts and happy feelings, a sense of fulfillment, and movement towards discovering the things that truly bring me joy.

Will a child ever find his/her favorite toy(s) if she simply stands at the door of the toy store and never explores what’s inside? No, he's/she's got to run up and down the aisles having different experiences to discover what will really bring him/her joy! We can learn a lot about living from children. Courtney reminded me that “I don’t wanna grow up”… I want to stay as childlike as I can as I experience the world and life! Consider adopting that attitude towards life… and let’s all enjoy the ride!!

Maybe Not Always In Dollars and Cents, But Hard Work and Passion Does Pay!

Yesterday after church service, I met a friend for coffee at a nearby Starbucks. It’s a popular spot and conveniently located. So much so, that I typically run into someone I know most times I am there. Well, yesterday I ran into a woman who had also attended worship service where I had attended. She’s an acquaintance that I’ve known and seen at services in the past for a year or more and I was happy to see her. We stopped to speak briefly as I was trying to recall where I’d met the friend she’d come into the coffee shop with sometime prior. Once we figured it out and we all went to separate parts of the shop to settle into the conversations that we each were having with the friend we were meeting, she whispered something to me. She said… “I sure do miss the creative work you used to do with the church services”. Her comment actually caught me by surprise and I quickly responded that I sure did miss doing it as well.

For a good while, I had been serving as the church’s interim Creative Director. It was a very fulfilling role that allowed me to use my creativity and the creativity of others to reach people and to teach people and to help create a unique worship experience for people who wanted to experience church in a different way. It has been a year since I ceased playing that role and I really do miss doing it. I had no idea and had never really considered that someone who was used to experiencing the creativity might actually miss the experiences as well. It felt good knowing that what I had enjoyed doing so much had actually touched someone else. Week after week I recall putting my heart and soul into creating experiences. When one does that, it means a whole lot that someone is actually touched by it.

What does this have to do with the journey to my destiny? Well, it was confirmation that putting your heart and soul into something is the right thing to do regardless of whether others acknowledge you about doing so. That one, short, unsolicited comment meant a whole lot to me. It helped me to realize that when you do something that you’re passionate about and put your whole self into doing, someone somewhere will be touched and it is all worth it. I will continue to seek opportunities that allow me to passionately work as a result.

On what are you working that is requiring your passion and your diligence? Do you feel like stopping because it doesn’t seem to be making a difference? Does it seem like you no one is really even benefiting from your efforts? Even when it doesn’t seem to be the case, your passion and diligence and the giving of yourself will bless someone somewhere. Knowing that someone has been blessed is the best payment of all.

Don’t stop giving your all. If you’re like me, because you enjoy doing it you'll enjoy that part of the ride. And, when you realize someone else is receiving something out of all of your passion and hard work, that will help you enjoy the ride even more. The enjoyment and fulfillment is all the payment we really need!

I've Been In This Unknown Place Far Too Long - Let Me Stop Now To Ask For Directions!

Have you ever heard the statement “a hit dog will holler”? Well, I must be the dog in that statement. At the moment I am struggling with a truth about myself. There is a situation that keeps coming up in my life over and over again. And, when it comes up I holler and scream out because it hurts. Sometimes I think the situation keeps coming up – with different characters and in different contexts, but the same basic situation – because I haven’t yet learned my lesson about it. Or, perhaps I am not responding to it in the right way, a Godly or Christian way. And, when I think about the words WWJD (what would Jesus do) I can’t think straight nor get quiet enough to figure out what he would do simply because I’m so hurt and rattled by the situation each time. It's frustrating because just when I think I've got the situation overcome, it arises up again and again. And, I don't know how I end up there each time.

It is a situation that causes hurt in me and leaves me feeling like I don’t really matter in that moment. I know I do matter, but when the situation comes up over and over again, I really question myself at times. I also feel a bit ashamed because part of me feels like I shouldn’t respond the way I do. I am a Godly woman. I am a woman who has faith who shouldn’t question my worth. But, a part of me feels like I have a real shortcoming and shallow place in myself that really isn’t very godly at all. So, I feel ashamed to even have these feelings even though they are real. And, because of this, I am not comfortable sharing the situation even though most people who read this may never know who I am.

The funny thing is before I fell asleep last night I was confronted, unexpectedly, with the situation. And, shortly after waking up this morning I was confronted with it again in a different context and with different characters. I don’t yet know how to deal with the issue in myself, so I pray about it and continue to wait for an answer. What I do realize, however, are two things. First, at the root of what seems to be a very unflattering aspect of my personality when triggered (at least in my mind it is unflattering), may in fact be some unmet need that is very, very important to me. If it were not so, I wouldn’t get so hurt and uncomfortable each time I experienced the situation. And, second, the scripture tells me “there is no condemnation in Christ”. So, even though I may have an ungodly response or an unflattering aspect of my personality, I am still God’s own and I am not condemned. I need to deal with it, but I’m not condemned because of it.

When I don’t know anything else to do, I seek my creator. He has all the answers. There is purpose, even in my shortcomings. The very shortcoming I have actually brings me closer to God – cuz, yes, I really want to learn how to overcome this thing or use the thing for some good. I’m going to have to get real close to God if I am to hear him in the midst of my hurt and I’m going to have to rely on him more than I typically do to provide for my unmet need that seemingly is so important to me.

So what does this have to do with my journey and getting to my destiny? Well, on any journey I find there are moments in my travels when I am not enjoying the ride, at all! Perhaps I take a wrong turn that gets me off the path and traveling in a circle over and over again. Well, given that I don’t know where I am or how I got there or why I got there, I need someone else to get me on the right path again. And, since my creator is only one who knows me and where I am headed and how to get there, I’d better stop and ask for directions on how to stop circling around this situation over and over again. Then, I can use the lesson to move forward towards my ultimate destiny.

What situation has got you stuck? What situation causes you hurt that you experience over and over again? Let’s each seek God for our answers as to what and why? Seek God so we can see what’s really going on inside of us and to hear the answers as to how to move beyond it. Once we do that we can all get back to enjoying the ride!

I'm Learning To Be Just Like The Sun! Shining Each Day Even When The Clouds Are Grey!

A while ago I came to a point where I realized that I needed to shed some things – some beliefs, some people, and some habits. I needed to shed so I could be a different person – a more beautiful person. Yes, at 40-something I felt like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I realized that for a very long time I had my identity tied up in what I did as a profession, to a lesser degree what I had accomplished or where I failed, where I had been, and the friends I had had in my life. Realizing I had to shed some things became a defining moment for me because I realized that all those things couldn’t really define me.

In a few days I will have reached 10 years living in Atlanta. 10 years ago I made the conscious and proactive decision to move here in hopes that I would make a comfortable, happy and successful life for myself. Success, I defined at that time, was a fantastic career, a loving family, a nice home, and a full and committed spiritual life which would provide me opportunities to be of service to others – all things most people would say are components of success. However, just about 6 months ago, realizing the 10 year mark was approaching, I began to assess whether I had made the right decision to move to Atlanta. Had I accomplished what I had set out to create for myself? Was I “successful” and had I been better off for making the move? I believed the answer was no. First, my career had been totally derailed due to layoffs and years of a tough economy. The relationship that held promise to produce the loving family with a great husband and beautiful children plummeted to the ground, crashed and burned due to unforeseen challenges. That event destroyed that particular chance of familial happiness and delayed the start of another. I am thankful to God that I do have a nice home. And, while I have opportunities to serve in the churches with which I have been associated, some of my more painful personal interactions have been with persons involved with places of worship. So, I began to seriously challenge myself to search for the right way to make adjustments in my life so that I didn’t spend another 10 years working towards my goals to only look back and not feel like I’d not been successful.

As with all of my prayers, God answers one way or another. In the process of my search, God began to change my thinking. He helped me see that I needed to think of and see myself the way God sees me. I needed to simply “be” who God made me to be. Though things may not look like I am who He says I am, I simply must believe it and walk in it and just be. A career or lack of a career does not define who I am – I might have a job today but not tomorrow. A family or lack of a family does not define who I am – I might be single today and married tomorrow. A church affiliation does not define who I am – I might worship at this church today and another tomorrow. I am simply who God made me to be.

I was driving home yesterday and noticed how overcast the sky was. There were lots and lots of clouds. I immediately thought of all the times I’ve been on a plane taking off from Atlanta’s airport on seemingly cold and dreary days like yesterday. Shortly after takeoff and once the plane travels high enough and through the clouds, the skies are generally blue and clear and the sun shines brightly with no more grey clouds in sight. The sun is there all the time, the beautiful skies are there all the time, although sometimes the clouds simply cover up the sun and we can’t see or experience it as easily. The weather and climate situation changes daily. So we may easily see the sun or not. But, the reality is that the blue skies and beaming sun are there each day. The sun doesn’t take a break. On yesterday, even though the low clouds cast a feeling of drudgery over the city, the sun was still there and it was still, in reality, a beautiful day! In the same way, I am who God made me to be regardless of the situations that arise that cloud the ability for me and for others to really see who I am. Regardless of how things may “seem”, there remains the reality of who I am.

So what does this have to do with my journey and getting to my destiny? Well, in embracing me, the true, authentic, essence of me, I had to let some things go. And, I am working on embracing and accepting concepts about me that are new to me while they are really not new at all. I am being transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I see myself as God sees me without the clouds of career, family, or any situation to define my reality. Who I am is bigger than any situation. But, mind renewal is a process and is the transition to which I refer. I’m letting go of the old perception (which can be difficult because it’s comfortable) and embracing the new perception of me (which can be difficult because it’s not so comfortable, at least at first). So, when I feel the tug of doing things or thinking of things the old way simply because that’s how I’ve always done it, I have to check myself. The process takes time. But at the end, regardless of the situation, I will continue to be who I was made to be. And that’s a peaceful and restful place.

Even before the cocoon, the caterpillar’s destiny is to be beautiful and fly – that’s a fact. I have to believe if I were able to talk to a young caterpillar it would have a vision and a sixth sense about how beautiful it would become and its ability to fly in spite of its current physical state of having no wings. I would imagine it would have had dreams about where it would fly and the flowers it would rest upon with no way imaginable of how it would happen just knowing it would. I can imagine the enthusiasm, assurance and faith in the fact that in its own time, it would have those wonderful experiences. Who has God created you to be? Have you embraced who He has made you? Do you dream about where He will take you in spite of where you are today? Recognize that by simply BEING the authentic you, not necessarily DOING any particular thing, you will transcend any situation that may suggest otherwise. The transformation process may take a while, but you can still enjoy the ride!

Mine is One of a Kind!!

I have a very good friend who is a very focused and linear individual. What I mean by that is this… since childhood, he has recognized his gifting and his talents and he has nurtured those gifts and talents and has made his life’s work building them, making them stronger, and using them. It just seems to me that he has always been extremely focused. It’s just the way he’s built and he’s that way in all aspects of his life. Take for example his professional work. He has worked for the same company for over 25 years (and he’s not an old man). In today’s work environment and economic climate, that is extremely rare. I applaud him for his efforts and marvel at how he can be so focused. When I look at what he’s accomplished, I’m so happy that he has managed his time and his talents in a way that has seemingly served him and others close to him well.

I, on the other hand, am a little more scattered. I don’t say that in a bad way. There are simply many things that I find enjoyment in doing. So, my path has been a lot more exploratory and varied as opposed to the straight and narrow. In being exploratory, I have learned a lot of things about what I like and what I don’t like, what I’m good at and what I’m not good at, and what works well for me and what doesn’t. Perhaps my friend knows that information about himself or perhaps he doesn’t. One thing that’s true, we probably have gained that understanding about ourselves in very different ways.

I used to look at his path and then consider mine and feel discouraged, unproductive, and slothful. But, a few years ago, a light bulb went off inside of me and I realized that those things are just not true. And, while I may be much more challenged than he is with completing one task before starting another, he may be much more challenged with trying new and innovative things than I am. Why, because we are all different. We all are assigned different paths. No path is good or bad, they are just different. The important thing is to have a goal in mind and continue moving forward, no matter what. And, it is important to recognize the exposures and challenges that exist because of one’s unique path and manage those the best way possible. For me, for example, that means a couple of things. First, it means making sure that when I start a project that I have an end goal or milestone that I can reach within a certain timeframe to help ensure that something productive happens. Second, it means being very intentional about ensuring that there is some common purpose or theme that ties my varied interest together.

For the past several days I have been very intentional about focusing on finishing some projects that I have recently started. I felt like I was beginning to drift prior to the beginning of the week. Staying focused is not an easy task for me. So, I shut out the outside world, for the most part, and have intentionally focused on working to reach a few milestones. Some days I do a good job of focusing, some days I do not. On the days I do not focus well, I do all that I can and I embrace the next morning as a new day and a new start and work on ways I can be better at it. On the days that I do focus well, I do all that I can and I embrace the next morning as a new day and a new start and work on ways I can be better even still!

So what does this have to do with my journey? It is just that… it is my journey and mine alone. It will look like and be like no one else’s. So, someone else’s directions aren’t necessarily always going to work for me with my unique destination and my unique path. No one but my Creator and the author of my path has the best advice and input regarding which roads I take, how long I’m on a road, which turns I take and when the journey ends. It’s all the more reason that I really need to make sure that I remain connected and always able to communicate with God – that’s where all the information is! God alone knows what is best for me.

Are you aware of how unique you are and how unique your path to your destination is as a result? No one else is like you, so none other but God can give you directions that will get you to exactly where you need to go. Even though your path looks completely different from any other that you’ve heard or seen in other’s lives, TRUST HIS WAY and ENJOY THE RIDE!

Don't Let Frustration Fool You! It's Gonna Be Wonderful!

It used to be that whenever I experienced a challenge, conflict or frustration of some sort when working towards a goal, I took that as I sign that I was in the wrong place and I needed to move in a different direction. I am still learning, even today, that the challenges that I experience are a part of the process. Some of the best end results come out of the choas of challenge, frustration and being stuck!

Yesterday I attended a pastoral appreciation for a pastor friend of mine. It was a phenomenal and excellent celebration! Everyone had a really, really good time! However, I know first-hand that even though the event was wonderful, God was glorified and the man of God was most appreciated, the days and weeks of planning leading up to the event got stressful and frustrating for those preparing for the special day. But, however stressful, the behind the scenes challenges that were experienced by the planning committee were not evident in the smooth and spirit-filled celebration on yesterday. What a blessing!

What does this have to do with getting to my destination? The ups and downs and highs and lows that I experience in working towards my goals seem to just be a part of the process. The challenges should in no way be discouraging – even though when they arise, they can generate doubt, heartache, disappointment, frustration, and host of other emotions. In fact, when I reach my destination, I typically look back and say WOW, it took a lot, but look at what was accomplished in spite of what occurred in the process. In working hard and dealing with the challenges of working on a goal, the effort should be evident, the goodness of it all brings God glory, and we all can feel good about the entire experience.

Look at those marriages that seem to be very solid – it isn’t without challenges. Look at those careers that seem to have been very successful – it isn’t without challenges. Look at the many people who have fought off cancer and other diseases – it isn’t without challenges and fight. Everything that looks well on the outside is generally that way because of the blood, sweat, and tears of someone who toiled and experienced stressful challenges. Are you experiencing any challenges in your life? It is simply a part of the process. Just like a bumpy car ride on rugged terrain or unnerving turbulence experienced during a long plane ride. It may not feel good, but learn how to embrace the experience. And, enjoy the ride!

I Took My Singing Act On the Road and What a Difference That Made!

Scrappy… that’s what I felt like yesterday. My definition of scrappy is a feeling like I’m all pieced together, not whole. When I feel this way, I generally have a bunch of emotions going on in me and they’re not all the same. Maybe a bit of it, if not all, is anxiety if I am really honest with myself. Some days I feel that way – scrappy!

Not long ago I took a drive from Los Angeles to Fresno, California. The trip is a bit over a 3.5 hour drive. The first hour or two is fairly scenic because you are traveling through small cities that are considered suburbs of Los Angeles. But after about 1.5 to 2 hours, there is a long stretch of land that is simply farm fields. It seems like there is miles and miles of it. There is nothing to look at other than rows and rows of fruit trees or vegetables being grown for future harvest, sale, and consumption. So, the first part of the ride went pretty quickly. Before I knew it, I looked up and saw all the landmarks I remember as a child when we were on our way to Magic Mountain (now Six Flags). I knew just how long it would be before I got to the amusement park based on key landmarks that I would see along the way. There was a sense of excitement and anticipation because I knew where I was and how far I had to go. However, once I got to and through the mountains (which on that day were covered with fog making it a challenge enjoy the scenery) there were no more landmarks, nothing much to look at, and just road! I felt like the kids in the movie “Are We There Yet”?

I guess during this uneventful and less scenic part of the trip there was a bit of anxiety on my part. It was a little uncomfortable not having much to look or experience. I felt a bit impatient because the road went on and on – forever it seemed - and I didn’t know just when it would end. So, I pulled out a CD with music on it that I needed to learn for an upcoming concert in which I was singing. I played the CD over and over again… making sure I heard every note and every lyric so that I would be fully prepared to sing. I listened to the lyrics that ministered to me as well… so I really understood what I would be singing about. It was wonderful! I used the time productively to master my music and the time went by much quicker. Anxiety departed.

There are days – as was the case yesterday – when I feel scrappy and anxious. Mostly, I experience the scrappiness or anxiety when I’m pursuing some goal (which gives me a feeling of excitement and anticipation), but nothing is happening to give me any indication that I’m close to reaching my goal (which gives me a feeling of impatience and doubt sometimes). Yesterday, I had conference call with a grad school colleague who is well respected and influential in his field. I shared and explored an idea with him on behalf of a client of mine about a partnership structure that, in my opinion, is a great way to help generate jobs and income for a targeted group of people. I’ve been really passionate and interested in helping this particular client address one of their major challenges, but a long time can occur between identifying a solution and seeing the solution implemented and working. I was hoping that my colleague would see the value and the need as much as I did. I’m not sure he did. But, I do understand why he wouldn’t. Nonetheless, I gave it all I had. Now, for me, it’s back to waiting. And, that’s the part that leaves me feeling anxious and scrappy.

What does this have to do with my journey to my destiny? Well the real life road trip I took showed me that that anxious time can actually be very productive time, it’s all in the choice. One doesn’t stop driving – heck, you can’t stop driving – you’re in the middle of the trip! There is no reason to turn back! The trip began because there was a destination in mind! So, the best thing to do is to make the choice to manage the uncomfortable wait time by making it productive. So, in the midst of feeling scrappy and anxious about my pursuit of one goal, I picked up the phone to make another call and another call in pursuit of another goal. This is what makes the wait time go by much more quickly and with fewer feelings of anxiety about the wait. Talk about enjoying the entire ride… helps me to make it all much more pleasant. I can’t avoid all negative feelings, but to the extent that I can minimize them, that’s great for me and those around me.

Are you feeling like nothing is happening as you pursue your goal? What are you anxious, impatient, or feeling scrappy about? We all get these negative feelings from time to time. But, next time, instead of feeling anxious about the wait time for one goal, pick up another one and master it – plant a garden, learn a new skill, paint a room! That way, while you’re moving towards but experiencing uncomfortable wait time as you pursue one goal, you'll fair better by accomplishing two! Do all you can to enjoy the entire ride!!

Baby... Try Another Size, 'Cuz That Just Don't Fit!!

In recent years, I have worked professionally as a marketer, as a technical trainer, and as a creative producer. I have worked as a full-time or part-time independent professional in each of these areas - essentially companies have hired me on a temporary basis to fill some specific need. The unique thing about this is that I've worked in two very seemingly unrelated functional areas (really it's not so unique when you think about how people are generating income these days, but reading further will explain why I say this). I have learned that some corporate environments aren't set up to embrace a multi-talented and resourceful (and some might say hustler) personality.

Recently, I had a phone conversation with a recruiter who was looking for a technical trainer. We spent about 10 minutes just discussing how it was that I could do technical training given I had marketing experiences. It was funny to me that she couldn't understand how I was able to do both types of work, marketing and training, successfully. The ability to do both didn’t seem comprehensible to her. Specifically, she didn’t understand why a company would hire someone with marketing experience to do a training job? (now because jobs are so competitive these days, I understand that employers are being very picky, but this was hilarious). I guess she didn't give much thought to the fact that some of the same skills it takes to stand in front of people to make a marketing presentation – good communication skills and audience management/engagement – are the same types of skills needed to be an effective trainer. Both involve the transfer of information and knowledge from one person to another. She also, apparently, didn't pay much attention to the fact that my undergraduate degree was in computer science nor that I had spent several summers programming computer systems thus giving me a solid grasp of technical concepts and terminology (this last point I had to point out as it is no longer on my resume).

The interaction was amazing to me! But, then, I began to think about the recent challenge I had with updating my resume. And, I began to think of the challenge I'd had with updating my LinkedIn profile. I couldn't seem to easily display a linear progression of what I had been doing. It was a challenge for me to discuss two very different types of work experiences in a progressive way that didn't make me seem dysfunctional. I began to realize why she had difficulty understanding. I was a different candidate. Although I had very purposeful and great experiences with each successive assignment, communicating it I felt like I was a square peg squeezing into a round hole.

If you think about it the format for a resume is essentially a template that's been used by jobseekers for years to highlight skills and experiences. The basic format has pretty much been the same for as long as I have been working and then some. LinkedIn, while a new professional networking site, also forces you to use a template or pre-determined format to create a profile. For employers and for webmasters, using a template or pre-determined format makes the process of managing information about hundreds of people much easier and more efficient than if there were no structure. In fact, this recruiter probably had a template she was using to evaluate the people she was considering for the position.

As far as my resume, I suppose I could have just created two different resumes. Actually, some career coaches suggest doing this and I have done it the past. As far as LinkedIn, I suppose I could have simply created two different Linked In profiles for myself. Admittedly, the thought did cross my mind. But, all of that requires too much time and effort to maintain. Doing so would have been confusing and would have kept me from focusing on more important things because of the busy-ness of trying to be “two different people”. So, I decided to incorporate all into a single resume and in a single profile and to highlight the benefit and value of being multi-functional. In my mind, the combination of the two seemingly different functions makes me a very unique candidate that is perfect for some specific opportunity. In fact, that has turned out to be true. I now have a client for which I provide online training of marketing concepts to small businesses.

So what does this have to do with getting to my destination? Well… for one thing I learned to continue to focus on the better thing. Rather than trying to make myself "fit" into a template designed to make things efficient and easy for the world by scaling back, presenting a one dimensional view of who I am so I can "fit" in the template, I need to simply be who I am and blaze a new trail if I must. Besides, isn't doing things differently how new discoveries are made? If we ALL just fall in tow fitting into templates, from where will all the freshness and the newness then come?

Second, when I embrace who I am – and quit trying to squeeze into the template – I am less tough on myself and can blossom, expand and grow (remember the saying accentuate the positives..)!

And, finally, isn't this whole thing about being ready for those opportunities that I, alone, was born to do... my destiny? Well, when I am busy trying to fit into the template, I have little energy or time left to do me. If I'm all spent, why would a destiny opportunity show up and avail itself? And, if it did show up, I wouldn't have the energy to walk in it. So, if destiny is what I'm living for, God's true purpose for my life, I want to be ready and able to walk in it. That’s why I’m on this journey, right? So, I have settled into and begun to embrace ALL dimensions of me and share that with those who appreciate the uniqueness.

Are you embracing and nurturing and growing every single unique thing about you? Are you cultivating you in anticipation of being ready for the opportunity that is made for only you? Don't expend all that energy trying to fit. You may never. Just DO YOU and enjoy the ride!!

When Focusing, I'm Learning to Make The Main Thing The Main Thing!

Recently, a friend of mine and I sat down to watch a movie. The movie is called Fireproof .The movie is about a couple who is experiencing trouble in their marriage. I assume that by the end of the movie there is revelation about how to Fireproof a marriage. I cannot say for certain what happens in the movie. First, I cannot tell you because you may want to check it out and I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you by giving away the story. Second, I cannot tell you because, honestly, my friend and I never made it to the end of the movie. So, I don’t know how it ends. About 1/3rd of the way through the movie my friend stormed out upset and hurt. Not actually a result I had expected!

Looking at it on the surface, I believe he got upset for a few reasons. First, because of something I said and did (or rather did not do). Second, because he didn’t really like the movie - he thought it was a “B” level movie (I thought it was good). Third, because he realized that we would never be anything more than friends. He did verbalize being upset and/or frustrated with himself for spending so many years pursuing a relationship with me that was never going to happen.

Now, before you think and scold me for “stringing this man along” or even ask why sit down to watch a movie about marriage with a guy with whom you are just friends, let me say this. He is an attractive guy who is a God fearing man who loves his kids and who is a great father. We have shared interests and we’ve been supportive of each other during difficult times in each of our lives. He’s not perfect, there are some things he needs to work on, but so do I. In fact, I probably have more to work on than he does. Why do I share this? I do like him. And, while I've always communicated my feelings about the extent of my feelings, I realized all his wonderful qualities and became open to the idea that one day I might feel the same way he does.

This day, he proceeded to say that he is angry for the time he has spent pursuing a relationship with me. And, if I think about it, he has focused on this anger for the past couple of years of our friendship. His feelings of “anger” is all he seems to focus on. We’ll go for a period of time when there is distance between us for his sake. But, when we talk again, the anger he has rears its ugly head and makes it difficult for us to have a pleasant and easy going, enjoyable friendship. In my opinion, rather than letting go of the past (what hasn’t turned out the way he would have hoped thus far) he focuses on the anger or frustration. This doesn’t allow us to enjoy the friendship that we have had for years and allow whatever to come out of the friendship to blossom naturally. Maybe that isn’t possible at all. I see that now, especially because his feelings are involved. In my opinion though, (and he’s certainly got his opinion too) he hasn't focused on the main thing.

He’s been distracted and has expended a great amount of energy focusing on anger caused by things he cannot control and events that occurred in the past. I believe that if he focused more on the main thing - the main thing being our friendship and mutually working on what makes it healthy and enjoyable and simply enjoying the time spent together - he might see a different result. Or, at least, he might feel differently and less angry about the same result. If I weren’t open to a relationship, would I actually sit down to watch a movie about marriage with him? Now that would be a bit insensitive. By the way, I’m not suggesting that there aren’t things that I could have done or can do differently. I acknowledge that. But, here is the point in this situation that has helped direct me on my journey.

Hoping that I don't sound judgmental, I recognize where he is because for years I found that I had done the same. In many areas of my life, I wasn’t making the main thing the main thing. For years I found myself focusing on things that I couldn’t control instead of what I could control. I focused on things that I couldn’t change about the past instead of learning lessons from the past and walking into a more informed future. The distraction did exactly what it was designed to do, it took my focus off of what was really important and made me emotional and angry (anger is expressed in many ways - a common way is depression). And, as long as I was angry and depressed, I wasn’t paying attention to the work I needed to do on me to be better – better at work and better in my relationships. Most importantly, as long as I was angry, I couldn’t focus on nor appreciate the precious moments that are God’s gifts that I could have been using to create memories to take into my future.

Who wants to look back on a road trip only remembering being in a car for hours? I don't know about you, but I’d rather recall seeing and experiencing all the lovely things God has created and allowed me to enjoy during the trip. Talk about living life abundantly! My prayer is that my friend and I and anyone looking for fulfillment will continually focus on the main things in life! The not-so-important distractions can be life stealers and moment snatchers! Is there anything distracting you and keeping you from making the main thing the main thing? Enjoy the ride!

God's Directions! Are They More Accurate Than Mapquest?

This morning I found out that a friend’s mom passed away over night. To say it was shocking news for me to hear is an understatement. It was just not something that I expected. She’d had a stroke several weeks ago and had been moved to a rehabilitation facility. I went to visit her about a week ago (last Sunday to be exact) and she looked good. She was in good spirits, she was talkative (with a slight slur because of the damage the stroke had done) and she was enthusiastic about giving 100%+ doing whatever she had to do to be rehabilitated. I spent a few hours with her. We laughed and talked. I cared for her and tended to her needs while I was there. I promised to get back to see her during the week before I left town. Unfortunately, I never made it back. I got sick during the week and was confined to my house for several days. I never made it out of town on my scheduled trip and I never made it back to see her. I learned of her passing this morning.

The situation took me back to the passing of my grandmother just a few months earlier. I was visiting my hometown during the Thanksgiving holidays. While I was visiting my niece in the hospital several hours away from where my grandparents live, my grandmother had taken a turn for the worse. My grandmother had been suffering from dementia for the past several years and had recently experienced some physical challenges as a result of old age. While on Thanksgiving Day she was vibrant and alert and recognized everyone, just a week later she was not doing as well. I drove back to my hometown and before preparing to leave to fly back to Atlanta very early the next day, I went to visit my grandparents. My grandmother was sleeping, so I sat and talked with my grandfather for about an hour. Just as I was preparing to leave their home, my grandmother awakened. She was a little groggy, she wasn’t in her complete right mind, and I don’t think she recognized me… but, inside, I believe she absolutely recognized me. I visited with her briefly, gave her a big hug and told her I loved her, I said “goodbye” and that I would see her in a few weeks when I came back for the Christmas holiday. That was the last time I saw my grandmother alive.

What does this have to do getting to my destiny? These situations are a reminder to me that God knows the road ahead (you probably agree with that easily)… and, that he very carefully and intentionally makes sure that you are where you need to be at the right time if you follow His directions. If I am connected with him, all I need to do is heed to the urging and the calling I have on the inside. Had I gone about my daily responsibilities and ignored the real desire I had to spend time with each of these beautiful women placed in my life, I would have never had an opportunity to experience the real quality and memorable moments I had with them at the end of each of their lives. Truly not a coincidence… truly amazing how following His directions works! What do you have an urging to do?

Why Now?

Interesting! For the past few months (and if I am honest with myself probably a couple of years) I have been contemplating some form of journaling about this journey I’m on. My journey started some time ago, but I recently reached a point where some potentially life changing decisions need to be made. I don't have this journey thing all figured out, but I do believe the journey itself is a huge part of my purpose. So, I embrace the craziness and uneasiness I feel at times. I believe, though, that all of what I experience in finding my way to my destiny will be of help to someone else. So, I thought, I’d better capture my experiences – the scenery, the right and wrong turns I make, and the stops I make along the way – in hopes that someone reading them will recognize them and benefit from them as they make their way along their own journey. So, this is my very first post!! It's exciting!!

A few weeks ago I was in a school interview and was asked the question "Why [school] Now?" The question was very appropriate for someone who has not been in a classroom as a student in almost 15 years. It is also an appropriate question to ask myself about why I have chosen to start blogging now. Well, my answer is: I want to live TODAY!! Living means jumping in with both feet and PARTICIPATING in life. I've been a spectator for so long watching others pursue their dreams and passions. Now, it's time for me to participate! Too long I have been contemplating and thinking about my purpose. I've read books, prayed, fasted, and more. Now it's time to for me to move and live!! I have learned to not think about making a wrong decisions or moving in the wrong direction because as long as I stay connected with God, he'll continue to close doors that are not in line with my purpose and he'll continue to open the ones that lead me right into my destiny. So “WHY NOW”… because NOW – today and this moment – is all that I have! Is NOW the time for you to pursue your dream or your passion?