Making Tough Decisions

Yesterday I was listening to a TED talk about decision-making.   The speaker explained her view of why decision-making can be so tough for people when they have to choose between two seemingly equal options. She stated that as people, we tend to place a weight or numeric value to each option we have. And, in doing so, we attempt to determine which option is “better” or offers the greater value or benefit. The result: we attempt to go with the option with the perceived greater benefit. 

The speaker explained that this is problematic because, in reality, when we are having a tough time choosing between two options, it is because there really is no better or worse, the two options are just different. One is not good and the other bad. If this were so, it would make for an easy choice. No, that the options are comparable in perceived benefit is what makes deciding between them so tough. [Ok, so this is not new information, right?]
 
Well, she then proceeded to share her recommended framework for understanding our choices and decision making that I thought was interesting.  Rather than saying that options are equal or better or worse, she suggested that we consider options as being on par – each option can get us to where we want to go, but perhaps in different ways. In other words they offer us different ways of being in the world. 
 
The choice we make to say something to a co-worker or to not say something to a co-worker in response to a crude or disrespectful interaction is a reflection of who we want to be in the world.  The choice we make between purchasing a fancy sports car or a small, economy car that’s good for the environment is a reflection of who we want to be in the world.  It’s a reflection of what we value most as individuals.
 
I found her approach for framing decision-making very interesting and see how it can help us exhale when face tough decisions – big and small. As we seek God first… as we spend time with God, and understand God’s will for our lives as Christians, our hearts are being shaped and our values are being formed in ways that inspire our decisions. When we look at our choices as different ways to express what we value most and who we are, we can relax a bit in making decisions… they may be less tough.  Viewed this way, decisions are simply a reflection of who we are in Christ and not our own attempt to make sure we are getting the BEST life has to offer.  No, when we seek God first and allow him to shape our hearts and values, God will add the blessings in whatever circumstances we are in. 
 

Don't Delay Decisions!

Making a decision can be overwhelming especially when we have so much in our lives going on.  But one thing is for sure, whether we make a decision now or later, we can’t escape our decisions.  And, every decision in our life has consequences. Procrastination doesn’t mean we’re avoiding a decision or the resulting consequences of that decision. Procrastination only means we’re DELAYING the consequences because in not making a decision we are really already passively making a decision or allowing the decision to be made for us. So…we really need to practice and learn how to STOP to make a decision now. 

When we are on the way to a destination, there are times when we might find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. At least this was before GPS systems. Pre- GPS if we found ourselves lost, we could make an immediate decision to stop to ask for directions or to change courses or we could continue driving in hopes that eventually something would look familiar. Unfortunately, when we’re lost we may never get to a point where we can find our way… and when/if we do, we will have lost time on our journey.  So, it seems the prudent thing to do is to stop as soon as your recognize that we may be lost. In spite of what’s happening around us. We need to ask for direction, relook at our map, even back step until we figure out where we went wrong. But for God’s sake and for our own sake, don’t ignore the need to stop to make some decisions. And, once the decision is make embrace all that comes with that decision, because each choices offers its own set of positives and negatives.  Delaying and allowing the decision to be made for you almost always promises to deliver consequences you really can't swallow easily. 

What does this have to do with getting to our destination? Well, the only thing we have in this life is time. We all get an equal amount of it. So, it is important to make the most of the time that we have.  Now, one way of thinking is whether spend much of your time lost on your way to your destination or whether you arrive at your destination in a timely manner and can enjoy being there all the longer, you should enjoy each moment of your life wherever you are in your pursuit.  I agree, however, I think I would much rather spend less time searching and more time being who and where I am supposed to be. So… if we find we are delaying some decisions… stop where you are… evaluate and make good decisions about moving forward.  You’ll be happy that you reached your end goal and enjoy the consequences of your decisions rather than not! 

I See You!

Yesterday I felt invisible. It seems like no matter how many great ideas I have, how many degrees I complete, or how much good I do, to some people I will always be invisible. Now, before I go on writing about how invisible I felt, I first want to do a gut check by saying I understand that everything isn't always about me. Everyone doesn't exist to focus on me or to make me the center of attention… I get that. Admittedly I probably see the world through Utopian lenses but I guess I feel like everyone should be SEEN and celebrated for who they are… not just some. I have my theory on why that happens at times, but I will leave that discussion for another blog entry. Today I simply want to say that I think it is important to "see" and to "celebrate" the uniqueness of every person… everyone wants to feel appreciated and loved! I have learned, however, when there is something I lack, I need to give more of that, so that is how I intend to counter this feeling of being invisible! So today… I will make it a point to honor and celebrate the uniqueness of each person in my life. My prayer is that I will make it a daily practice, but today I am going to be very intentional about it.

So, what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? As you know I think there exists a wonderful metaphor between traveling to some far off physical destination and traveling through life to our ultimate destination and purpose. So there is a very short and simple answer to the question today. It simply means that along the journey when we encounter the wonderful scenery and encounters that make the journey enjoyable, scenic, and breathtaking that we stop to acknowledge them. Rather than just breezing by, never paying attention or acknowledging the landscape that God has put before us, let's just take a moment to do just those things. The people in our lives and the talents and gifts and personality they have with which we interact is what make the journey interesting and enjoyable. So, let's celebrate them and thank God for them. Everything was carefully crafted just for us (and others) to be able to enjoy the ride. Our gift from God to let us know that if no one else does, God says: "I see you!"

YaY!! I'm Getting Unstuck!!

Today I had my very first session with what seemingly will be my ministry coach. Our first meeting was successful to me because he was able to help me get all of my thoughts out on a piece of paper and I was finally able to make some sense of my many, many ideas and thoughts. Now my ideas and thoughts are not as overwhelming for me as they have been simply being resident in my head. I was surprised and delighted and, quite frankly, thankful that he was able to help me do something that I've really needed to do for quite some time. It's particularly delightful for me because it confirmed something I've known about myself for awhile and because I'm now able to finally get unstuck! What a joy!

Let me explain a bit more. First, in my gut I've known for quite some time that I have needed to find someone who could help me process all that's going on in my head. Because I've known this for while, I have been trying to find a coach that I could afford and who could help me, but never found the right fit. So while I knew what I needed, I haven't been able to find what I needed. Hence, I've been stuck! So, while I know coaching is expensive, when it is successful it is valuable. I look forward to working with Coach Seed and believe that he will help be able to help me move forward! Its such a great feeling when you know what you need and you finally find that which meets the need! Awesome!

Second, by getting my everything on paper - all these creative ideas and thoughts that have simply been accumulating in my head - I can now begin to tackle my goals in a way that is conceivable and achievable. Frustrated with being unable to find coach or some other person to me process, I just resorted to attempting to tackle this obstacle on my own. Unfortunately, I have been unsuccessful. So, now that I have identified someone with whom I believe I can work on an ongoing basis, I am now able to excel and begin to develop and work a plan that will take me to a new level and closer to my goals. Now I'm unstuck!!

So, what do both of these things have to do with me getting to my destiny? First… sometimes knowing something in your gut and/or being clear about what you need to do doesn't always mean that the how is going to immediately manifest itself. I know me and I've known for quite awhile that I needed another person to help me process so that I could become unstuck. I know myself! Unfortunately, I have tried to engage many different coaches and alternatives to coaches to try to help me through this process but to no avail. Timing is everything and so I had to wait until the right fit came along. So, the first lesson in this is that just because I know something and maybe even see it in the spiritual realm, I must continue to know in confidence that the physical manifestation may tarry but it is coming. I believe God creates the need so that God can provide the need in God's way and in God's time. I've got to always hold on to what I know to be true, always moving forward, never settling until I get the true fit - the physical manifestation that is that fits with the spiritual vision! We need always to stay in touch with our own internal compass… it was put there by the creator... and it'll will always let us know if we're in the right place at any given time.

Secondly, this initial experience with this coach was simply confirmation for me that another pair of eyes can help us see the forest when we cannot because we're so close to the trees. God made us to be in community with one another. The fact that no matter how hard I have tried, I have been unable to organize my thoughts in a way that made sense… and this has been going on for me for weeks, months and maybe even years - speaks volumes to this lesson. When I trusted someone enough to share my thoughts with and then to have them to help me see things in an organized manner, it was a breakthrough. I was finally becoming unstuck. It hit home for me the idea that we really do need each other. Sometimes we've been traveling so long alone that we cannot really see how much ground we've covered or even how rich the surroundings are that we have. Sometimes we need someone to remind us of how far we've come and to help us to see our surroundings as something very unique and special indeed.

I'm thankful for this day. And, I will remember these lessons as I continue on enjoying my ride.

Purpose Is About Being The Message That God Writes To Others With Our Lives... Just Ask Christina!

Last night I watched President Obama speak to the Tucson community and the nation as the victims of the shooting from the weekend were memorialized. While the entire speech was good and appropriate as he spoke about the need to come together as a nation instead of being divided and instead of pointing fingers as to who is to blame for such a horrific event, I couldn't help but focus primarily on the life of the youngest victim of the very tragic event. Little Christina Taylor Green's beginning and end of her life was filled with irony and with purpose. Born on September 11, 2001, a day when the country experienced unprecedented and horrific terrorists attacks, then nine years later being killed by a terrorist within her own community, suggests so much irony that it must be purposeful. Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to the family of this little girl and I pray for their comfort and healing. But, her life was not without purpose and meaning in a way that many may never consider. This is not an entry intended to be political, patriotic or unpatriotic. No, because my blog is about life lessons, I want to focus on the lesson of her life. I want to focus on simply that the irony of her birth and death is so profound that it must have been her purpose. This young child's life, which before last week only those within her close knit community knew about, is a life that now has national and probably international reach. Her life and its message speaks loudly and is far reaching and is one that cannot be ignored through no effort, no fault, or no intention on her part. It's just the way it is.

There are many lessons that her Christina's life teaches, but I'll focus on just one for this blog in the context of destiny, purpose and fulfillment.Where there is irony in our life there may be purpose. Christina's birthdate and date of transitioning from this world were completely outside of her control. Yet, those very significant dates is what makes her life so very special and purposeful. So, as I think about those things in my life that I think are ironic yet carry much less of a sting…that I have spent most of my life living alone even though it is surely not my choice, that most of my female friends with whom I grew up and went to school are single and/or have no children. Or, that I attended some of the best colleges in America yet have not held a full time, permanent position in many years. Perhaps the very reality of my life may, in fact, be where my purpose lies.

So what does this have to do with me getting to my destiny? Perhaps this lesson has to do with my perception of my journey and the purpose for which I am on the journey. There are so many things about my life that I have no control over including not being married, not having kids, and to some extent the state of the economy such that my job prospects are slim in spite of having a quality education. But those circumstances are the very thing that perhaps make my life so purposeful. Christina's life and its innocence and vulnerability raises awareness that we critically need to make the world safer for our children and that we need to come together in unity to make that happen. I'm not sure how that message could have been more powerfully communicated given that she, in her innocence, was born amongst violence and she, in her vulnerability, died at the hands of violence.

I don't think that we choose our purpose, I believe it chooses us or rather God chooses us to fulfill some purpose. If we follow our heart then every day we will walk in that purpose as we head towards some ultimate destiny. We spend so much time asking God and wondering what our purpose is when perhaps it isn't so much for us to see or know as much as it is for others to see it in us. Our purpose is God's message to the world that is communicated through our life just as Christina's did. The context of our life situations will frame it as such so the message will be received by those for whom it is intended. Our job, then, may be to simply do what's in our hearts. By doing so we may be etching the message that God intends to write with our life. Today I will simply follow my heart that is yielded to God and allow God to write a message with my life. God will write it better than I ever could. And, while God writes, I can just simply sit back and enjoy the ride. Join me!!

Looking Back At The Bumpy Roads I've Already Traveled, I Know I Can Make It Over The Winding Roads Ahead!

Today is a continuation of my blog from yesterday. I was sharing with a friend yesterday on yesterday's topic. I read Hebrews 5 to him and he shared how the passage spoke to him. Interesting to me was that he focused in on struggles and suffering while I had focused in on striving for/working for perfection. Ultimately, I believe we ended up at the same place in terms of the importance of suffering as the path or the way to Christ learning obedience and being made perfect. Nonetheless, I think the topic of suffering is worth writing about separately as it provides another angle on how we may want to live our lives as we learn to be obedient.

As I thought about Christ's suffering and my own suffering, I realized that often times the suffering itself sometimes really doesn't make sense. When God inspires or compels us to do something, often times it is not easy and when we are in the midst doing what we are inspired or compelled to do, we can experience heartaches, hardships, and haters. When we experience a job loss and can't find work, or when we experience illness, or when we have experienced the end of a marriage, we hurt. and while we are experiencing these things it doesn't necessarily make sense to use why we are experiencing it. Often times it isn't until we get to the end of the suffering, ie we get a new job that ends up being our life long dream job, our hurt has healed from a marriage or relationship break and we can no see everything clearly and what contributed to the break that enables us to be better or do in a new relationship that is more fulfilling and nurturing than the one before, etc. when we get to the other side, we can look back and see how the struggle and the suffering was beneficial to a new level of trust in obedience to God. After a while of experiencing such, we can genuinely be OK with the next episode of suffering - as difficult as it may be - because we know that when we look back we can see all the times God has taken care of us.

So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? So much. As we ALL can attest, our life's journey, particularly when we are listening to the spirit within us and moving according to its directions, is filled with turns and ditches and bumps. It's filled with periods of bad weather and rough roads. So, without deep down inside knowing that God has "got this", we can think that when we experience these dark times that this is it… this is the end. We can doubt and think that God isn't going to be able to or isn't willing to get me out of this one. But when we look back and be reminded from where we have come, our souls can truly be at peace that "yes" God will get me through and by going through this dark place I will not only be better prepared for the next dark place, but I will that much closer to my destiny.

So, the next time I find myself in a place where I am suffering, I will stand up and look back over my life's journey to see and remember all the times that God has helped me get through the rough times and all the times God has put me in a place of victory over my circumstances. When I do that two things will happen. First, I can look back and see the places where I have traveled from a different perspective… the view is very different once you've come through something versus when you are in it. For that I can express and thankfulness. Second, I can turn back around to look ahead at where I am and the journey I have in front of me with the confidence of knowing that whatever comes my way, with God I can make it through!! Let's all do this so we can enjoy the ride!

Practice MAKES Perfect!

Jesus has been the only person on earth who ever achieved perfection. But, what does it mean to be perfect as it relates to God anyway? Admittedly, in reading my Bible today, I noticed more than before that Jesus "achieved" perfection, meaning he had to work towards it.

Hebrews 5:8-9 says that "although he was the Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered and having been made perfect he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." I found this sentence very interesting and a light bulb went on for me. The passage says that Jesus "learned" obedience and was "made" perfect. Not that he was always perfect. So, I wondered, at what point, then, did he become perfect or arrive at perfection? And, how did he achieve it? Did he get to the point where he knew and followed all of the commandments or was it something else? And, what then is the expectation for us as believers. I think his perfection had to do with something greater than following a set of rules. His perfection, I believe, came at the point where he was completely obedient and trusting of God. And, our task is the same!

Unless we arrive here with all knowledge in our heads, which I'm sure none of us do, we must learn everything. We learn something either by spending the necessary time studying and practicing it, or we learn by experience (as children do) - do it, bet burned, do it differently. Either way, there is striving and suffering that is involved. As I read the passage… it became clear to me that contrary to what I have believed for so many years - that Jesus did nothing wrong ever - the truth is that his perfection was achieved in his complete obedience to God. And, as we all should know, obedience to and complete trust in God takes practice. We have to learn to be obedient and through our experiences we learn to trust more and more on God. We don't always get it right. And, while I'm not saying the Jesus was ever disobedient (the bible never says that) I would think that the humanness of Jesus had to learn and practice being obedient. Practicing anything to the point of perfection is tough…

So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? Well… for so long i have been so focused on making sure I "do the right thing". I've gotta follow the rules. I can't make a mistake. I've got to be perfect! Living this way is stressful because I can never reach that type of perfection. And, in all honesty, "right" is relative. If "right" wasn't relative, there would be no struggle. if what is "right" were so cut and dry and black and white there would be no disagreements between two people, two groups, two nations acting in the name of good. No, what I believe is most important now is to do what we are led by God to do. To act in obedience. Much time is wasted when we are not obedient. Much stress is experienced when we try to do what others say is the right thing for us to do versus we believe and know God is saying for us to do.

As I continue on my journey, I'm going to practice being perfect. Not man's view of what is perfect but God's view of what is perfect. I will struggle to practice my obedience and trust in God. I think by doing that I can much more quickly get to the destination intended for me. That will be the only perfection for which I am striving.

All I Gotta Do Is Show Up... God Will Do The Rest!!

This weekend was a whirlwind. On Thursday evening at midnight, I got into my car and headed from Atlanta to Miami Beach, Florida only to turn around and drive back within 36 hours. It was an 11 hour drive both ways, a journey I dared not take on alone simply because of the duration of the drive and the reality that my 10 year old car is creeping up on 300K miles any day now and might not make it. So, a friend was kind enough to take the drive with me.

Having learned of the event just a few days before, we traveled to Miami Beach headed for a film festival that I was determined to be a part of. A creative person who loves to create and produce artistic expressions, I am interested in adding filmmaker to my list of creative can dos. And, with anything I do, I want to do it right. So I identified a couple of workshops that I wanted to attend at the festival, a screenwriter’s workshop and a panel discussion on how to Make Money in film. My two dilemmas were this: First, given that I wasn’t able to leave Atlanta until midnight, Thursday night, I risked not making it to Miami in enough time to attend the session that was scheduled to begin at 9am on Friday morning. Second, when I called the registration table before leaving Atlanta, there was one ticket left for the panel discussion on Making Money in Film and they would not allow me to purchase that ticket over the phone. This meant that I could potentially get to Miami and not be able to do the very things I wanted to do. But, armed in faith and determination I went anyway. And I’m happy that I did because I got great information and I met some great people. But, I had to show up to win!

So what does this has to do about getting to my destiny? It is about knowing the desires of your heart and being confident that they will happen even when it looks like otherwise. I drove all the way to Miami only to get to the festival venue by 1pm. The session was over. So, I went to the bar area of the hotel, ordered myself a fruity (virgin) drink to celebrate the end of the drive and the ability to exhale, and to do some writing/planning. Just as I was sitting, gentlemen came over to introduce himself. At this particular festival everyone talks to everyone because we are all there for the same reason. Anyway, he had attended the session and said that it was excellent. But, he also shared that everything the instructor shared was in his book and on his website. So, he gave me the information on where to find the website and the book. And, I was satisfied. I can now read and re-read the book and absorb the information at my own pace as opposed to having everything crammed into a couple of hours. Not to mention I met a new person in the field. I was happy.

The second session I was interested in attending began at 430pm. It was sold out. But I was determined to figure out how to get into the session. So, I called a friend who’s boss was on the panel. She told me that she’d try to get me in, but couldn’t promise. I presented to the person selling the tickets all of the wonderful reasons why he should simply let me into the session including that I had driven 11 hours just to see the session. But, to no avail. So, just before the session, I walked over to the waiting area to get a drink of water as I was parched from the hot, hot day in Miami. I began talking with a woman who was also getting water. We talked for about 15 minutes about her organization and what she had experienced while being at the festival. While we were talking, I noticed the line of folks beginning to move into the room where my desired session was being held. I asked her if she was planning to attend because folks were beginning to file into the room. She said yes and asked if I was going. I told her that I’d really wanted to go, but had been turned away because the venue was sold out. She said, “Here, take my partner’s pass! She wasn’t able to make it today, so you can use it and just give it back to me”. I’m sure you could hear me shouting wherever you were on that day? I shouted “Praise The Lord!! Hallelujah!!” I was a re-confirmed believer that God will make away for those desires of our hearts. But, we have to be willing to move forward in faith even when it looks like it will be all for nothing!!

What are you wanting to do that you think is impossible?! All I can say is move out! If you don’t you’ll miss some of the most exciting aspects of the journey!!

And Another One Down... Another One Bites The Dust!!

New revelation… I’m a sabotage-addict and ball wrecker! Ok so maybe it isn’t a new revelation but certainly a new understanding of the revelation. I woke up this morning and my life flashed in front of me. The scary part of my saying this is that there is an old folktale or belief that your life flashes in front of you if you’re having a near death experience. Perhaps in a metaphorical sense that’s precisely what I’m having – a near death experience. I’m barely living and this is a wake-up call to change, to repent, to allow God to change me so that I can experience life more fully and enjoy the desires of my heart.

What do I mean by saying I am a sabotage-addict and ball wrecker? It seems that I in some way sabotage every good thing that comes into my life. As I look back over my life in all areas of my life I seem to destroy or sabotage the very things I’ve desired to have in my life. I’ve done that with jobs, I’ve done that with relationships, I’ve done that with financial situations and other hobbies and interests. The same thing happens. I conceive it, I even see the concept begin to manifest in my life, and just before it becomes a reality somehow I manage to destroy its existence in my life. And, the ironic thing is that I typically sabotage things in the name of God or for what I believe is the “right” thing to do. This truth is very interesting as I consider my reality.

So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? First, before I answer this question , let me say that for me this is probably the single most important thing so far that I have written about regarding my journey of getting to my destiny and the lessons I’m learning along the way. Now, to answer the question… I have discovered a pattern in my life around my wrecking activities. My wrecking seems to occur right at the point where I am likely to experience the most pain, period of discomfort, or point of feeling like I’m out of control. It is at this point that I really need to get quiet and hear God and be directed or led through the pain and discomfort and release control. Instead, I get frantic and crazed. I do this because I have realized something about myself and that is that I really, really do not like pain. I always consider pain as something I need to or MUST avoid. But a life without pain is not living. It is through pain that new things are birthed and wonderful new life is created. I see or rather understand that now. Perhaps if I look at pain that way I can embrace the concept of pain, knowing that I will get through it and be the better for it on the other side.

God, in helping me visualize this revelation gave me the image of a pregnant woman going through childbirth. A man and a woman who want a baby become pregnant and expect a child in 9 months. Unfortunately, they cannot control when the baby will get here unless of course the woman has a caesarian section. But, one thing is for sure, at delivery time – before, after, and during – the woman will experience some pain. It is inevitable. But on the other side of the pain is a new and changed life – their lives are never that same after the baby is delivered and the fulfillment of being a parent, I’m told, is something that is unmatched by no other experience.The only way to avoid the pain of childbirth is to abort the baby. And, even should one make the difficult choice of abortion, there is the pain and suffering the occurs with ending the life giving process which should have naturally occurred. Hmmm... I have aborted far too many babies in my life given this truth! I need to forgive myself and move forward.

I cannot change my past, but I can start living a new way today. Heck, I’ve been experiencing the pain of an unfulfilled life so I’m living the very thing of which I write. So, today I begin to look at pain in a new light. I will consider it the passageway through to fulfillment. Not saying that all pain is good, because abusive pain is absolutely not the pain of which I write. I write about the pain that comes from growth, from expansion, from birthing new realities in one’s life. So join me today in rejoicing in the positivity of pain. And, while you’re uncomfortable and a little achy, rub some spiritual ointment on to soothe the pain and enjoy the ride. Remember, no pain… no gain!!! I am finally realizing the magnitude of that statement!! Now let’s get right to making our dreams a reality – pain and all!

OMG Am I Going In Circles? I've Seen This Before!!!

I live in Atlanta! If you know anything about Atlanta, you know that one of the main highways in the city is Interstate 285. Interstate 285 is a highway that loops the city. If you’re traveling I285 you will literally drive around and around in a circle until you get off at an exit. You will never leave the Atlanta area if you drive the complete circumference of the circle. And, you will end up exactly where you started even though you’ve spent over an hour in the car. So, when traveling I285, it is important to know where you are going and what exit you need to use to get there so that you don’t waste unnecessary time in the car.

So what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? Well, I equate driving I285 to a particular aspect of my life. See if one never gets off at an exit, one will begin to see the same things over and over again. And, in my life there is a situation that I keep seeing over and over again. It's been recurring for the past 10 years but each time with different players. Hence, I have concluded, until I get the lesson in the situation, I will continue to revisit that same lesson over and over and over again, just like driving I285 without ever exiting.

The situation is this: I find myself in situations that are extreme blessings for me, but in the exact place where I am receiving the blessing I seem to experience my most significant pains. Because of the way I was raised, my philosophy in dealing with this situation for so many years has been to dig my heels in and persevere in spite of the pain. After all, there is a saying that “winners never quit and quitters never win” or “anything worth having is worth fighting for”. Living with this belief, one cannot help to be committed to do whatever is necessary to hold on to the blessing. But living with this philosophy has been very debilitating.

I had breakfast with a colleague early this week and she helped me to see a different perspective. And, now I have concluded that I have been looking at this situation all wrong. I had to ask myself, am I really happy and being blessed if I am experiencing the blessing in the midst of so much pain? Perhaps negative forces understand that to keep me in pain and in bondage there has to be something that I get out of it (some benefit), otherwise it would be a no brainer for me to exit the mess. I thought about the fact that when God calls us to do something, there may be a struggle, but God will lay out the vision of that thing up front, so we know what we’re getting into. Things that are not coming from God come in the form of packages that LOOK good but are not good for us. The pain in the struggle to do God’s will is a different kind of pain than that which comes from something that looks good but ends up not being as such. So, I’m letting go of my winner take all mentality!! I’m letting stuff go that challenges my emotional well being for the sake of holding on to something i think I want or need. Doing so is not healthy, is not good and is not from God. It’s taken my at least 10 years to get there, but better now than never.

So I’m happy I’ve gotten this lesson. I was finally able to get off of the proverbial highway loop and much, much closer to my destiny. My prayer and hope is that you are able to recognize when you’re on such a heavily traveled loop and that you’re able to find your way to the nearest exit soon.

Don't Talk Back! Just Listen and Do What I Say!!

It’s January 24, 2010 and I have not yet posted an entry to my blog in this new year. I find writing very therapeutic and at the present moment I’m really a bit angry, so I will write and by the end of the entry, I will hopefully have accomplished two things… an entry for the new year and hopefully a translation of some of the negative emotions I am feeling into positive energy for me and for someone else. So here we go:

I am angry with myself today for allowing a person back into my life who I know is not good for me. I am angry with myself for ignoring the voice inside of me saying "you’re really just fine, actually better, without this person. So, in this moment of missing what used to be or what could have been, don’t ruin your new beginning and a brand new wonderful level of happiness without this person by heading back in their direction." I heard myself loud and clear but for some reason ignored me.

Hmmm!! Why is that? Could it be lack of respect? If someone else gave me good advice that would be helpful, what would it mean if ignored them. Would it mean that I didn’t respect their point of view? Hmmmm!! I suppose so! Here I was giving myself perfectly good advice… and, I should I might add acknowledge that the voice was inspired by God… it was the God in me. So, guess what… it boils down to not respecting me and my own point of view and dare I say not respecting the God in me. I GOTTA fix that!

So, what does this have to do with getting to my destiny? Well first off… I must admit that I do not like to see other people being disrespected. I don’t like when I am disrespected by others. Disrespect does not promote healthy relationship. And, along life's journey that’s all you encounter -- relationships! We do not travel to our destination on our own. While we may be alone throughout the entire length of the journey, there are people who travel certain segments of the distance with us. Those relationships are necessary. And the healthier they are, the more enjoyable they are, the better they are to serve their purpose and the more fond memories that they create. Same with self… the more respect for oneself, the healthier the relationship with self, and the more confidence one has and the happier one will be along the journey.

So the next time I’m inspired, I will be quiet, not talk back, and listen to the voice inside of me. Respect myself to take heed and TRUST it! Besides, it’s there to serve and guide and protect me! ONLY me!! Why waist all that good sense… if I just listen and do what it says, my journey will be healthy, rich, and full of happiness! Join me in listening to and respecting self while we enjoy the ride!!