Yesterday I was listening to a TED talk about decision-making. The speaker explained her view of why decision-making can be so tough for people when they have to choose between two seemingly equal options. She stated that as people, we tend to place a weight or numeric value to each option we have. And, in doing so, we attempt to determine which option is “better” or offers the greater value or benefit. The result: we attempt to go with the option with the perceived greater benefit.
The speaker explained that this is problematic because, in reality, when we are having a tough time choosing between two options, it is because there really is no better or worse, the two options are just different. One is not good and the other bad. If this were so, it would make for an easy choice. No, that the options are comparable in perceived benefit is what makes deciding between them so tough. [Ok, so this is not new information, right?]
Well, she then proceeded to share her recommended framework for understanding our choices and decision making that I thought was interesting. Rather than saying that options are equal or better or worse, she suggested that we consider options as being on par – each option can get us to where we want to go, but perhaps in different ways. In other words they offer us different ways of being in the world.
The choice we make to say something to a co-worker or to not say something to a co-worker in response to a crude or disrespectful interaction is a reflection of who we want to be in the world. The choice we make between purchasing a fancy sports car or a small, economy car that’s good for the environment is a reflection of who we want to be in the world. It’s a reflection of what we value most as individuals.
I found her approach for framing decision-making very interesting and see how it can help us exhale when face tough decisions – big and small. As we seek God first… as we spend time with God, and understand God’s will for our lives as Christians, our hearts are being shaped and our values are being formed in ways that inspire our decisions. When we look at our choices as different ways to express what we value most and who we are, we can relax a bit in making decisions… they may be less tough. Viewed this way, decisions are simply a reflection of who we are in Christ and not our own attempt to make sure we are getting the BEST life has to offer. No, when we seek God first and allow him to shape our hearts and values, God will add the blessings in whatever circumstances we are in.
